Really, really sick jokes
Mommy, Mommy! I don't like Sis!
Shut up, and keep eating!
Mommy, Mommy, I don't like running in circles!
Shut up, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor.
Mommy, Mommy! Why is daddy running away?
Shut up, and help me reload the shotgun!
Mommy, Mommy, I don't want to go to England.
Shut up and keep swimming.
Mommy, Mommy, I don't want to see daddy again.
Shut up and keep digging.
Mommy, Mommy, I want to play with Grandpa now!
Keep quiet, the coffin stays closed today!
Mommy, Mommy, I'd like to play marbles now!
Keep quiet, you can't use Grandpa's glass eye today!
Mommy, Mommy, I don't like the crunchy stuff in my pea soup!
Keep quiet and eat what is on the table or do you think I pour Grandpa's vomit through a sieve?
Mommy, Mommy, I wanted to lick the bowl this time.
Shut up and flush.
Mommy, Mommy, I don't know how to play poker.
Shut up and deal.
Mommy, Mommy, can I wear a bra now? I'm 16..
Shut up Albert...
Mommy, Mommy! I don't like this spaghetti!
Shut up or I'll rip the veins out of your other arm!!!
Mummy, Mummy, Sally won't come skipping with me.
Don't be cruel dear, you know it makes her stumps bleed.
Mummy, Mummy, what's for dinner?
Shut up and get back in the oven.
Mommy, Mommy, why do other kids tell me I have a big head?
Don't worry. Take your cap and go get me 40 lb. of potatoes at the store.
Mommy, Mommy, why do other kids tell me I have a long nose?
You don't, but lift your head up or you'll scrape the floor.
Mommy, Mommy, what's a vampire?
Shut up, kid, and drink your soup before it clots!
Mommy, Mommy, what's a werewolf?
Shut up, kid, and go comb your face
Mommy, Mommy, are you sure this is how to learn to swim?
Shut up and get back in the sack!
Mommy, Mommy! How come sis gets to watch TV and I can't?
Shut up or I'll cut your ears off too!
Mommy, Mommy, I don't want any more hamburger!
Shut up and stick your arms back into the meat grinder.
Mummy, Mummy, I don't like grandma.
Well leave her on the side of your plate then.
Mommy, Mommy, Auntie threw up and Sis is getting all of the BIG pieces!
Mommy, Mommy, don't push to the elevator shAAAAAAAFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTT!
Mommy, Mommy, are you sure this is the right way to cook Beijing Duck?
Shut up and close the microwave oven door behind you!
Mommy, Mommy, what's a nymphomaniac?
Shut up kid and help me get granny off the doorknob.
Mummy, mummy, what's an orgasm?
I don't know dear, ask your father.
Daddy Daddy what is queer?
Shut up and unhook my bra.
Mommy, Mommy! Why don't I have a big thing like Daddy's between my legs?
You will when you're older, dear!