Bill Clinton Jokes
How did Clinton realize that Paula Jones wasn't a democrat?
- She didn't swallow everything everything
Al Gore is one orgasm away from being Presidenr
Clinton takes a look out his window, and sees that someone has urinated "Bill sucks!" on a wall outside the White House. Furious, he orders the FBI to urine- and handwriting samples from everyone in the White House. One week later, the FBI calls:
- Mr President, I have some good news, and I have some bad news. The good news is that the urine came from Bob Dole, the agent says.
- And the bad news? asks Clinton.
- Sir, the handwriting is your wife's.
How does Clinton keep Monica Lewinsky away from the White House?
- He offers to send Ted Kennedy to go pick her up
How do you define a virgin from Washington?
- A girl who can outrun the President
The Oval Office is presently known as the Oral Office
Only Clinton can make us forget a sexscandal using a new one
How come Clinton is so interested in the ongoings in the Middle East?
- He thinks the "Gaza Strip" is a sexclub
What does Bill say to Hillary after a romantic half-hour?
- Honey, I'll be home in 20 minutes
How does Bill Clinton define safe sex?
- When Hillary is out of town
What do they call Bill Clinton's fly?
- The US Open
Clinton and the Pope died on the same day. By mistake, Clinton went to heaven, and the Pope went to hell. The Pope notified the authorities of the mistake, and they soon found what had caused it. However, it would take 24 hours to sort out the paperwork. The following day the Pope was on his way up to heaven. Midway, he bumped into Clinton heading down. They stopped for a chat.
- I'm sorry for the mixup, said the Pope.
- No worries, said Clinton.
- Well, I'm really looking forward to heaven, said the Pope.
- How's that? asked Clinton.
- All my life, I've dreamed of meeting the Holy Virgin! exclaimed the Pope.
- Sorry, you're 24 hours late, said Clinton.
Clinton was out jogging when a hooker at a streetcorner called out to him:
- Hey Mr President! 50 dollars!
- Oh no, 5 dollars! repplied Clinton and went on with his jogging. Everyday after that, the same exchange of words occured, and was soon a routine. One day Hillary decided to join Bill when he went out jogging. When they approached the streetcorner with the hooker, the hooker called out to them:
- Hey Mr President! Look what you got for 5 dollars!