Child's Play..
These are from Flumen and Flumen, Journal of School Psychologists, 17, 82-84, 1979. The questions are those from the WISCR and WPPSI (IQ Tests for little people)
Q: In what way are an apple and a banana alike?
A: Both give me diarrhea
Q: What is the color of rubies?
A: My sister, Ruby, is black like me.
Q: What should you do if you see thick black smoke coming from the window of your neighbor's house?
A: I would probably cough. I'm lergic to smoke.
Q: What do you call this finger?
A: It's your sucker.
Q: What does contagious mean?
A: Don't go near the baby. She might throw up.
Q: What does the stomach do?
A: It makes food so it can come out of my rear end smoother.
Q: Why do we have to put stamps on letters?
A: I don't know where else to put them.
Q: If I cut an apple in half, how many pieces will I have?
A: One.
Q: Are you sure I will only have one piece?
A: Yes. I will have the other piece.
Q: Name 2 things that are round.
A: Boobs
Q: What is the thing to do if you were sent to buy a loaf of bread and the grocer says he does not have any more?
A: Call him a liar and ask him what he's trying to pull.
Q: In what ways are paperback books better than hardcover books.
A: More dirty pictures.
Q: What is a donkey?
A: I'm not allowed to say that word.
Q: What do we call a baby cow?
A: (long pause)...a bully?
Q: Now I'm gong to say some numbers, but this time when I stop I want you to say them backwards. For example, if I say 9-2-7, what would you say?
A: I'd say, you've got to be kidding.