know where to find him: In front of your ex-boyfriend’s door. 2. He brings your husband his slippers and he brings you the car keys. 3. He eats a load full of grass in the backyard, comes back in the house and waits by your husband’s shoes. 4. When he eats his dogfood, he gags everytime your husband walks past him. 5. After your wedding, your dog played dead for a week. 6. You notice that all the other dogs in the neighbor- hood keep giving your husband dirty looks. 7. When he’s supposed to bring your husband the paper, the only part he brings are the "apartments for rent." 8. When your husband walks the dog, your dog tries to drag him to another neighborhood. 9. When you come home, your dog comes running over to greet you. When your husband comes home, the dog sits down and starts scraping his butt along the carpeted floor. 10. Your husband’s cat has been missing for days. |
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home. 2. The vet leaves messages for your dog on your answering machine. 3. He throws a surprise party on your dog’s birthday. 4. When you had to have your dog spayed, the vet had to seek therapy. 5. On overnight stays, your vet sleeps in the cage with your dog. 6. After having your dog groomed, you notice that the vet has the same haircut. 7. When you come to pick up your dog, the vet tells his receptionist to distract you, so that he can have some time alone with your dog, to say good-bye. 8. He keeps trying to switch your dog with one that looks just like yours. 9. He offers to trade you his 3 kids for your dog. 10. The vet’s wife calls you and asks you to tell your dog to leave her husband alone. |
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every time you walk by his tank. 2. He started weaving little baskets out of the woodchip bedding. 3. He made little sculptures out of seeds in his tank. 4. He took up gardening and planted sunflower seeds in the corner of his tank. 5. He has a tiny little imaginary hamster friend. 6. You notice that some of your stuffed animals are missing, and you find them in your hamster’s cage. 7. You could swear his sqeaking sounds like the tune to "I'm so lonesome, I could cry." 8. You try to figure out how he manages to keep getting away, and you find a tiny book in his cage... "The Count of Monte Cristo." 9. He has mold growing on him. 10. You find a tiny little suicide note in his tank. |
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2. Get your dog a bone and bury it for him. 3. Mark your territory by peeing on the couch. 4. Bring your cat a dead bird. 5. Make a real effort to learn to purr. 6. Spend a day with your head stuck in a bird cage. 7. Spend quality time with your pet rolling around in something really awful. 8. Sniff your neighbor's butt. 9. Bite the mailman. 10. Eat supper on the floor. |